Blood dance

Had one of the coolest dream last night..

I dreamt that i was part of a mafia group which was going through some internal problems.

Dont quite remember the first part, but a couple of guys assassinated members of the same group.

Scene 1

The next day, there was a meeting organized in a theatre hall (imagine suits and red carpet event). To my suprise, the guys attended the event as well. They were sitting in a row. A bold move on their part.

Then, a man from a couple of rows behind them got up and pulled out a gun. Aimed at one of their heads, pulled the trigger *bang*. Unfortunately the shot missed and ended up killing a woman in the front row. Her arm flew to the stage and within minutes there was a pool of blood.

Never the less, dancers came out and continued performing. A dancer in white perform a dance on top of the pool of blood. The dance was performed in a smooth circular motion. Her body was close to the floor and her hands and legs keeps sweeping across the floor. No one else realised it, but what she was actually doing is drawing out Japanese symbols in the pool of blood. A coded message to someone.

Scene 2

The next thing i knew, I was suppose to hide weapons around the building for some upcoming fight. I hid a bunch of katanas in the toilet that was connected through a corridor behind the seating area (not very hidden when i think about it). So, as i was walking about in the corridor, i saw a bunch of thugs loitering in the emergency exit staircase area. They were extorting money from Justin Timberlake (wtf?).

I asked a couple of friends.. "should we help him?". One of them said that we should because he was a fan.

We confronted the thugs with a "let him go.. or else.." line. Cliché, I know. They wouldn't back down and we ended up in a fight. It was a 4 on 4. As my friends attended to the other 3, I grabbed one of them by the collar and pulled him down to the floor. As he laid down there, i reached for his throat and choked him.

And that was the end of the dream... not much sense and a whole lot of violence. It even had that dark gloomy atmosphere going on.

Well, i cant make sense of that. Need help on this one guys.

If she's here

I'm devastated,

My girlfriend might have to decline four top university offers just because she needs to stay in Malaysia in order to get her PR. Damn, the government is keeping my happiness away from me. I need my pursuit of happyness.

My life would be much better if she managed to get her PR before September and study here in the UK.

If she's here, i would look forward to weekends. Wouldn't mind travelling back and forth for hours just to see her. I know she would cook for me all my favourite dishes. She knows what i like. She's a terrific cook :)

If she's here, I'd have someone to speak my mind to. I wonder about the little things that people dont bother to think about. If i voice out what im thinking all the time, id just be an annoying bitch - but she listens to me passionately. I know shes not just pretending to listen because she contributes to the conversation as well. Only smart people can contribute to the conversation :)

If she's here, we would travel to all the interesting places together. She enjoys the natural world as much as i do. We could travel to the frozen north, lay down on the southern beaches, stare into the universe through the clear night sky on board a cruise ship and so much more. When where in cities, we would seek out the la sagrada familia, experience the guggenheim museum or simply enjoy the childishness of Disney Land. Because we love the same things in the world :)

If she's here, I'd take good care of her. Id make sure she gets the love and attention she needs. Lift her up when shes feeling down. Help her with her homework. Tuck her in on cold winter nights. Because shes my baby :)

If she's here, she would take good care of me. She would make sure I get the love and affection I need. Lift me up when Im feeling down. Help me with my homework. Tuck me in on cold winter nights. Because im her baby :)

When im with her its just bliss. No action nor words are needed. Simply being around her makes me happy. I've found someone who loves me for me, and I love her for her.

Although she might not be able to be with me right now, although I have to wait a couple of years before I'd be with her again, im sure the wait will be well worth it.

The world's a theatre, the earth a stage

its been a very arty spring for me, got a lil bit of that theatre lifestyle.

I played one song as part of a skit. I did not act in it.. just merely played as a musician in a bar..... Though it gave me a hint of what it is like to be part of a theatre production. The experience might have hit me hard due to the fact that i have never seen a play in a proper venue before.. and the first time i do, im in it.

Arrived early for a full rehearsal. Practice getting in and out of stage, positioning, lights etc. Before you know it.. seven hours has passed, and its time for the show.

There must have been about 50 people running around backstage. Perfecting their actions so as not to screw up during the actual show. Backstage has a very unique position in a production. Its where all the mess, confusion and clutter is. Hidden away from the view of the audience. All they see is a smooth crisp show.

Backstage is where you would find people practising their lines, putting on costumes and getting ideas for some last minute improvisations.

From the backstage, performers have to make the journey towards the stage wings [the most interesting place in my opinion]. This is where all the emotions are. Its a dark narrow alley on both sides of the stage. Scarcely lit by lights from the stage, creating a strong contrast of light and shadows. Its a place people and props wait moments before getting on stage - squeezing through each other, chasing precious seconds with their eyes fix on stage, not to miss a cue.

Anxiety could be clearly seen on everyone's faces.

Getting on stage was liberating in a way. All those time spent practising comes down to one final moment. The crowd reduced to figures in the darkness. Leave all your anxieties aside. When your on stage, there is no right or wrong.. whatever happens, the show must go on. Therefore, all you could do is to enjoy the moment.

I've been performing as a band on stage plenty of times, acted in a couple of school plays.. but there was a distinctly different energy to theatre.

Perhaps it was the old Victorian ceiling with chandeliers dangling down from it.

Perhaps its the hustle and bustle backstage.

Perhaps its knowing that every second of what you do matters.

Perhaps it was the way the curtains open before you - revealing a crowd all suited up.

Perhaps it was the hundreds of stage lights interplaying with each other - exaggerating every emotion that makes a scene.

I understand now why a lot of people leave their field of expertise for life in theatre. Even great actors speak of theatre fondly.

It is a truly unique experience.

False sense of rightfulness

I never start a bog entry knowing what to say... just rambling on till i get to my point..

Hot issue going on at the moment; the organization I was involved in is under attack by a Malaysian "Islamic" society in Manchester. I couldn't believe the level of the accusation they put on us.

Few weeks ago, words were going around amongst the "Islamic" society that our organization promoted alcohol during our last event. Shocking news considering that it's false news... but all was well when the head of the "Islamic" society (from here on referred to as Isociety) got in contact with our organization to clarify things.

so we thought....

Then out of the blue, we got news that the Isociety signed a petition amongst their members with intent to tarnish our name, and sent it straight to the Malaysian student department. They even went so far as to write to an Ustaz, asking him to take action on us. It felt like a stab to the back.

First key point here ; in Islam, the sin for false accusation is worse than murder. So it saddens me to know that people use the name of Islam [acting high and mighty] meddling around in peoples affair trying to tarnish peoples reputation. Its shocking how they use "Islam" to justify their wrong doings.

It was bad enough that we lacked this Isociety's support (as fellow Malaysians) for the event. I would assume that members of the Isociety was advised not to support us as we were deemed sinful. I wouldn't have mind the non-attendance as it was their right to live however they choose to... so be it they choose to live detached from the real world. Its when they try to control the life of others that bothers me.

But don't they know, that when they act with the name of Islam, they risk ruining the name of Islam itself? They act with a false sense of rightfulness. They attack us on the assumption that we are sinners. They seek to ban all things they perceive as sinful.

That is not how Islam works.

They dont even know what a gig is.

Islam is an educated religion. Education here refers to understanding. Understanding of the world, people, culture, other religion etc. Muslims are ordered to study everything there is to study - not to condemn everything they do not understand.

Islam is about self control. In a mixed religious society, it is an even greater triumph to be able to control ones self from consuming alcohol while still respecting religions that do.

- You don't ban a whole event just because your not suppose to drink. It isn't a drinking event anyway. [we did not promote or sell alcohol during the event, but the local British bands drank]

So.......... go on living under your rock if you want to, go on trying to force people to live as you do, go on trying to stop the world from spinning, go on accusing people as you wish..

but do not do it under the name of Islam.

There are far better ways to promote Islam than this.